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33 Things You Didn’t Know About 2 Chainz

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He’s not really different He called her big booty cause she had a big booty One time 2 Chainz and Big Sean got really drunk and made out and they haven’t been able to make eye contact since 2 Chainz doesn’t have object permanence so he thinks the world disappears every time he blinks 2 Chainz is scared of paper cuts so every time he reads a book he wears gloves 2 Chainz invented Splenda 2 Chainz is positive they named the Caribbean Sea after that pirate movie with Johnny Depp 2 Chainz voted for Rick Santorum in the primaries 2 Chainz was inconsolably devastated when he found out that Vince from the ShamWow commercials had stabbed a hooker 2 Chainz is into shrimping (sucking on toes in a sexual manner) 2 Chainz always insists that the book was “way better” than the movie Five years ago, 2 Chainz changed his clock to military time to make things more interesting. He still hasn’t figured out how military time works, and schedules all his meetings before 12pm so he knows when to arrive. 2 Chainz eats Taco Bell breakfast for dessert 2 Chainz deleted Microsoft Word because he didn’t know how to stop typing in italics 2 Chainz admires many people, but none more than Santa Claus. How does he make it to EVERY house? 2 Chainz stopped going to his swim class because the other kids made fun of him for having an Android 2 Chainz waited in line for the Tower of Terror at Disney World for over an hour but got scared at the last minute and took the sissy exit down. When it rains, 2 Chainz likes to sit in bed all day and listen to the raindrops beat down on his window. He imagines the life of a raindrop must be rather beautiful but sad.[poll="7"] 2 Chainz always buys his t-shirts in a larger size just in case they shrink in the wash. They never do. The name 2 Chainz was borne out of his desire to one day own two chains of adult video stores across his home state of Georgia 2 Chainz’s deepest secret is that there is in fact a third chain 2 Chainz liked the Phantom Menace 2 Chainz doesn’t subscribe to the gender binary 2 Chainz has a botched circumcision 2 Chainz sparknoted Catcher in the Rye in 10th grade because he thought the book was dumb but now realizes it offers valuable lessons to coming-of-age teens and wished he had Salinger’s perspective with him through his college years 2 Chainz is only doing Dillo Day because he wants to touch a real live armadillo 2 Chainz is possessed by his chains, Aztec artifacts cursed by Montezuma himself 2 Chainz closes his eyes during Fellowship of the Ring when Bilbo’s face gets scary 2 Chainz trained himself in lucid dreaming but no longer knows what is real 2 Chainz is afraid of needles so he applies identical temporary tattoos every morning 2 Chainz tried out for the school play in 7th grade because he wanted to try something new, but lost the part to Bradley Jacobs, the coolest kid in school 2 Chainz once lost one of his chainz, but later found it in the couch he had been napping on earlier 2 Chainz isn’t very ticklish, especially not on his feet so don’t even try to tickle him there  

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